You, as a leader and manager, communicate in a wide variety of ways, which we simplistically and somewhat crudely categorize into “explicitly” and “implicitly.”

It’s an old cliché that we all seek to be understood . . . accurately and completely, too, we hope. In some instances, at least, leaders are particularly poor and communicating, even where the message is brutally important to the direction and success of the firm.

“Implicit” communication includes body language; gestures; a smile; a frown; tears; a hug; clenched teeth; clenched fists; nail biting; sweaty brow; crossed arms; hunched shoulders, volume and pace of voice. etc.

“Explicit” communication might include a telephone conversation (particularly one where the parties to the conversation are not viewable); letters; email, radio; TV; DVD; newsletter; newspaper, email, and the like.

There are obvious gray areas and crossovers, because while a phone conversation is mostly explicit, one’s tone of voice, choice of words, and pace of speech are important elements of the entire conversation.

That said, multiple valid scientific studies has shown that the messages people receive come more from body language, facial expressions and tone of voice than the actual words and objective message content.

We have used the following measurements, which are understood by many communication consultants as “standard”:

One of our more cynical clients asked, “You mean I can tell my staff s - - t, and if I do that with the right words, calmly, with appropriate body language, I’m okay?” Not exactly, but perhaps directionally correct.
Albert Mehrabian, a professor emeritus of psychology at UCLA is an expert on verbal and non-verbal communication. Mehrabian defines the three basic elements of communication as: words; tone of voice; and “non verbal behavior”, for example, facial expressions.

Mehrabian has also postulated that while non-verbal elements are particularly important for communicating feelings and attitude, the proposition takes on heightened importance when there is “incongruity”, that is, when the words themselves do not appropriately or adequately align with non-verbal behavior, such as tone and attitude. It’s Mehrabian’s theory that where there is disagreement between specific words on the one hand, and tone of voice and non-verbal behavior on the other, that people will tend to believe the tonality and nonverbal behavior.

Consider an instance in which an individual clenches his or her teeth, folds the arms, frowns and screams, “I love you . . . you are a sweet precious person.”

Not only do the mix of degree and intensity of each of the elements of communications bear relevance to the understanding of the message, they also contribute significantly to whether or not the message receiver . . . the listener, as it were . . . likes the person who is speaking. This turns out to be an important factor in being properly understood. If you speak something that is profound and true, but your audience does not like you, you are less likely to be understood and believed. Indeed, a scarier situation might be where the speaker is very well liked and lies and obfuscates. No one can think of any example of that, can they?

Professor Mehrabian’s studies have shown that words account for only 7% of how much we like the person who is delivering the message; tone of voice accounts for 38%; and body language accounts for 55%. (These are sometimes shortened to “3 Vs” for Verbal, Vocal and Visual.)

Therefore, for a business to communicate effectively, he/she must consciously consider the parts of the message; the delivery medium or media; and the congruence among and between the three key parts of message delivery, remembering that incongruence is a major enemy of effectively being understood and believed.

We cited above the “I love you” example. Another analyst proposes the verbal expression, “I do not have any problem with you!” together with avoiding eye-contact, looking and acting anxiously, closed body, etc. In this case, under the “7%-38%-55% Rule”, 93% of the communication is incongruent and the verbal message will not be understood or believed.

Back to Fido. There is a humorous list, Your Dog’s Ten Commandments, which might bring the above comments into better focus. When you read these, try to put a valued, valuable, key employee in the place of the dog’s words, and see if you, as the leaders of an enterprise or team of people, are able to consider transcending to a different, better form of communication.

1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is likely to be painful.
2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.
3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.
4. Don’t be angry with me for long and don’t lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only you.
5. Talk to me. Even if I don’t understand your words, I do understand your voice when speaking to me.
6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.
7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.
8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I’m not getting the right food, I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or weak.
9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.
10. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you can’t bear to watch. Don’t make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there, because I love you so.

This entry was posted 11 months, 1 week ago on Sunday, March 20th, 2011 at 9:34 am and is filed under Uncategorized.

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